How to Support a Friend Facing an Unexpected Pregnancy
When a friend shares that she is unexpectedly pregnant, it can be overwhelming for both of you. You may not know what to say, how to respond, or how best to support her. However, your initial reaction and ongoing presence can make a huge difference in how she navigates this moment in her life.
The Power of Your First Response
Most women make their pregnancy decision within the first 72 hours of finding out they are pregnant. Your words, actions, and attitude in those early moments can either add to her fear and uncertainty or help her find clarity and hope.
What She Might Be Feeling
Your friend may be experiencing a mix of emotions, including:
- Feeling trapped or overwhelmed
- Fear of judgment or abandonment
- Anxiety about her future
- Confusion and pressure from outside voices
- A loss of identity or dreams
Rather than rushing to give advice, the most helpful thing you can do is listen. Creating a safe space where she can express her feelings without judgment is one of the most valuable forms of support.
How to Support Her with L.O.V.E.
A great approach to supporting a friend in this situation is L.O.V.E. – a method that stands for Listen, Open up, Value, and Empower.
L – Listen Without Judgment
Instead of immediately offering solutions or opinions, focus on understanding how she feels. Ask open-ended questions like:
- How are you feeling?
- What is your biggest concern right now?
- How can I support you?
Avoid "why" questions, as they can sound judgmental. Use reflective statements to show you are truly listening:
- “It sounds like you’re feeling…”
- “Let me know if I’m wrong, but I sense that…”
- “Can you tell me more about…”
Simply being present and listening with compassion lets her know she is not alone.
O – Encourage Her to Open Up About Her Heart vs. Her Head
Many women experience a conflict between their head (fears and pressures) and their heart (instincts and values).
- Her head may be filled with financial worries, relationship concerns, or societal pressure.
- Her heart may feel an early connection to the baby or uncertainty about making a rushed decision.
Encourage her to talk through these thoughts without fear. Help her explore whether her current fears might change over time.
V – Remind Her of Her Value & Help Her Envision a Future
In moments of crisis, fear can make the future seem bleak. Remind her of her strength, resilience, and worth. Speak truth into her life:
- "You have time to make a decision."
- "This does not define who you are."
- "Your future may look different, but it is still full of possibilities."
Help her imagine positive "what if" scenarios:
- "What if you could still finish school with support?"
- "What if your family’s initial reaction changes with time?"
- "What if this experience helps you grow stronger?"
These questions help her see beyond the immediate stress and consider all her options with a clear mind.
E – Empower Her with Resources & Support
Practical support can be just as important as emotional support. Offer to:
- Sit with her when she tells her family
- Help her find a local pregnancy center
- Go with her to a doctor’s appointment
- Provide information about support programs and services
Mea Centre is here. We offer free non-judgemental support for anyone facing an unexpected pregnancy.
An unexpected pregnancy can be challenging, but having a supportive friend can make all the difference. You don’t have to have all the answers—just being there, listening, and reminding her that she is valued and not alone can provide the encouragement she needs.
If you or your friend need support, reach out to Mea Centre for compassionate and confidential assistance. CONTACT US
By: Elizabeth, Executive Director