“I don’t want to have an abortion, but I’m not ready to be a parent.”
“I already have a child, but I don’t feel I can handle more.”
“I was taking all the precautions because I don’t want to have to get an abortion, but I got pregnant anyway.”
These are all reasons we have heard that can lead a pregnant person to consider adoption. Once you are experiencing an unexpected pregnancy, there is no going back. There are 3 choices within your control: Abortion, Adoption, or Parenting. Some people don’t want to choose abortion for various reasons, but they know they aren’t ready to parent or have another child. That is where adoption comes in. Adoption can be a good solution to the unexpected pregnancy. For those who don’t want an abortion, it can be a good compromise between the choices of parenting or abortion.
Recently I got to go to an early release of a movie called “Lifemark”. It is a true story about a young man reuniting with his birth mother. The birth mother almost had an abortion but changed her mind at the clinic and went the adoption route instead. She felt she was too young to parent, as she was in high school, so she found an older couple to adopt her baby.
This couple had lost their two children born with genetic health issues, and they were heartbroken, wanting a child, yet not wanting to risk giving birth to another of their own. They had all but given up on having children when the young birth mom contacted them.
18 years later, the biggest message that her biological son wanted to tell her when they met, was “I have had a good life. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.” I think that this might point to the biggest reason for a woman to choose adoption for her child – because that child may one day thank her for her sacrifice. Yes, it is a sacrifice. However, the child and the adoptive family stand to benefit in so many ways from that sacrifice.
Of all of the choices, adoption might just be the hardest to do.
They are all difficult in their own way, but adoption is a special kind of difficult. You still go through the pregnancy, you still go through labour, or a c-section, and at the end you give your baby to someone else. But, adoption is a decision of love. Real love can be hard. True love can mean sacrificing in a big way for someone else. Because as that baby grows in your belly, you may get emotionally attached. You have made small daily sacrifices to keep that baby healthy – taking vitamins, not eating sushi, smoking, or drinking alcohol. You may wish you could keep your baby, and still know that the best choice is adoption.
Adoption is both a loss and a gain. A mother who gives up her child can have many feelings, and needs to have supportive people around her after the birth. She may feel the loss, but also may feel content in making the choice that she made. And who knows, one day that child may come back and thank her.
Here at the Centre we offer information on all of your pregnancy options. For those who choose adoption we are here for you every step of the way. We can help you find an adoption agency, arrange meetings, help you fill out paperwork, and be a support system for you through the process and afterwards through our post-adoption support program. If you would like to speak with one of our support workers to find out more about adoption you can contact us HERE.
By: Lindsay, Client Services Director