It can be terrifying to work up the courage to tell your parents you’re pregnant when you’re a teen. Depending on the relationship you have with them going in, you might be afraid of their reaction and fear their disappointment and rejection.
Maybe you’re thinking it would be better to keep them out of the whole mess. Wouldn’t it be better to deal with it on your own? Maybe not. My reaction if it were my teen might surprise you.
Dear Daughter: 3 Things I Want You to Know:
1) Shocked; yes! Disappointed; no way!
This was not what I was expecting to hear right now. Give me a moment to process what you just told me. I’m feeling many things right now but not disappointment. Concerned and worried maybe. I know you didn’t mean this to happen and its not your fault. I hope your OK. Do you need anything? What can I do to help you? Let’s sit down and figure this out.
2) Uncertain; yes! Angry; no way!
I feel uncertain and anxious about how this pregnancy will change things depending on what you decide to do. Things will never be the same, but that’s OK. I know that you have a lot of dreams and hopes for your future and this wasn’t part of your plan. Things have a way of working out though and you are strong and capable of handling this. Life can have many twists and turns but often we grow stronger in times when we face trials or when our paths change unexpectantly.
3) Stressed out; yes! Abandon you; no way!
I am a bit shaken up as you might have imagined, but I want you to know I am here for you. I am so glad you came to me and didn’t keep this a secret. I would have known something didn’t seem right because I know you so well. Let me help you. I love you. We will get through this and I will be by your side. Thank you for trusting in me. I feel relieved that you felt secure enough in our relationship that you came to me with this. I never want you to fear I would abandon you.
Your Situation is Unique
Ultimately, you will need to decide what the best course of action is for your situation. You have the most knowledge of how your family might respond but be careful not to make assumptions. Check in first by asking yourself:
What might I be losing if I keep this a secret? Are my fears real or perceived?
How have they reacted in the past to other things? Can I handle this on my own?
Outside Help
If it would help to talk to someone first or you’re still not sure if you should tell your family you’re pregnant, a support worker at KPCC is always here to listen and help you work out a plan moving forward. We offer a safe place to discuss anything you want and it’s free and confidential.
Click HERE to book an appointment.
By: Tanya Knox, Assistant Director