If you have been on social media recently you may have seen a lot of buzz around the new Disney movie Encanto’s song “We don’t talk about Bruno.” It is a catchy song that reminded me of how there are some things that we just don’t talk about in society. Unfortunately, we have had many women say that’s how they felt regarding their abortion experience. Often, no one told them about all of the possible side effects, including the emotional side effects. That is why we wanted to take a moment to talk about the often-not-talked-about side of abortion.
The thing with feelings is, they are unique to each person. No two people will feel, react, respond in the same way to a situation because each person has different circumstances surrounding their decision.
That said, what I can tell you are some common themes we have seen throughout our 33 years of providing post-abortion support.
What are some of the negative emotions women have experienced?
There is a whole spectrum of feelings that can come up after an abortion. The most common feelings are: 1
- Depression
- Anger
- Guilt or Shame
- Remorse or Regret
- Loss of self-esteem or self-confidence
- Feelings of isolation and loneliness
- Sleep problems and bad dreams
- Relationship problems
- Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
What are some reasons why women experience negative emotions?
Hormones
The negative feelings that occur after a planned termination may be at least partly due to hormonal changes. “Natural hormonal changes that occur in your body during pregnancy are affected by an abortion. These hormonal changes can make you feel more emotional than usual. You may experience a spectrum of feelings, ranging from sadness, anger, and regret to guilt or relief. In fact, hormonal changes can cause depression symptoms, including sleeplessness (insomnia), sadness, tearfulness, anxiety, hopelessness, irritability, and poor concentration. Lasting symptoms require professional attention.” ~ Abortion: Emotional Recovery | HealthLink BC
Circumstances surrounding the Abortion
Bad Timing – Many women say they would choose an option other than abortion if they got pregnant at a different time, whether it is after finishing school, after securing a job, or when they are in a better relationship. They feel if the timing was different they would make a different choice.
Coerced or Pressured – Many women feel pressured from their partners, family members, or friends to make the decision to terminate. If a woman goes against her own morals or values to appease someone else, it could lead to feelings of resentment and guilt.
No Support – Many women feel they do not have the support or financial means to be able to raise a child. They feel alone. They feel like it would be a disservice to have a child they are not able to provide for.
Cultural or Religious Beliefs
Women who are from a religious or cultural background that does not look favorably on abortion could feel shame afterwards for going against their beliefs or culture. Many women have said to us, “I never thought this would ever be something I would do, I was raised to believe that abortion is wrong.”
Do all women struggle emotionally after an abortion?
No. There are many women who are able to move on from the procedure without any negative feelings. They are able to resume their regular routines with little to no interruption. For these women the most common feeling is relief.
How can I reduce my risk of experiencing negative emotions?
Before deciding on a termination, it is advisable to try the following: 2
- speaking to people who you can trust
- weighing up all your options
- seeking medical help and asking a health worker as many questions as you can
- trying to avoid isolation, as this can lead to depression
- avoiding giving in to pressure to do something you do not want to do
How can Kingston Pregnancy Care Centre Help Me?
We offer confidential and non-judgmental support. We are here to give you all the information you need to make an informed pregnancy decision. We give you space and time to get information, ask questions and sort through your feelings towards all options. Whether you are in the decision-making process or after an abortion, you don’t have to go through it alone.
We offer you support no matter what decision you make; adoption, parenting or abortion. To read about the different supports we provide, visit our website for a list of services. Our Services | Kingston PCC
What does Post-Abortion support look like?
We offer anyone who self-identifies as wanting post-abortion support access to our free and confidential services. We offer one-on-one or group sessions depending on your preference. Your peer support worker will meet with you either in-person or online. You will be heard, your feelings will be validated and you will be given support and tips for moving forward.
If you would like information about starting post-abortion support contact: clientcare@kingstonpcc.com
To read more about the support we offer visit our website: Options After Abortion | Kingston PCC
References
1 Coping with Ending a Pregnancy (bcwomens.ca)
2 Depression after abortion: Understanding and coping (medicalnewstoday.com)