Between tv, music and social media it can feel like everyone is out there having casual sex, but honestly, it’s not the case, and it doesn’t have to be your case. You don’t need to have sex. You and only you have the power to make the decision. Knowing yourself and what you want and having the confidence to express what you want and what you don’t, makes you strong and powerful. It will preserve your sense of self worth and dignity until you are ready to share yourself fully and completely with a deserving, loving partner. 

 

While I won’t say not having sex is easy it can be done by following a few steps:

 

Think about what you want, how you envision your life to play out? What do you want? What do you not want? Who do you want your life partner to be? What are they like? How do they make you feel? What does being ready for sex mean to you? How will you know? Ask yourself all these tough questions, know your answers and yourself before making any decisions that could possibly alter your life. Sounds dramatic, I know, but a pregnancy now would alter your life regardless of how you chose to proceed with it. 

 

By surrounding yourself with likeminded peers your decision to not have sex will be much easier, find people who will support your choices and will uplift you in your life journey. Find role models who live the lifestyle you desire and align yourself with them. If your circle is full of those who share your values, your decision to wait won’t be questioned, it will be supported.

 

Make your decision to wait clear from the beginning of a relationship. While it may seem awkward to have this discussion early, it will show your confidence and if your prospective partner chooses to walk away after you reveal this you probably just dodged a huge bullet. He wasn’t for you. It will be much easier to have this discussion early then waiting until you are feeling pressure when things get heated. Remember though, you always have the right to say No, or I’m not ready, or I don’t want. This is your right no matter what has started. Excuse yourself to go to the washroom to gather yourself and think about what you want. Are you really ready and 100% willing to give yourself to this person? If your answer is no, that’s ok. Walk out there with confidence and know this is your choice, your right and no further explanation is needed.

 

Both alcohol and drugs blur your rational decision-making abilities. They remove one’s inhibitions and can lead to you finding yourself in situations you wouldn’t normally find yourself in. Know your limits and stick to them. If you are going out and plan on indulging have one like-minded friend commit to not drinking and keeping watch over you and more importantly others who may see your altered state as an easy conquest. Plan your evenings out and use caution.

 

 

It is possible and powerful to choose not to have sex. Confidence over compromise. You don’t owe anyone your body, your time, your yes. Sex is a beautiful experience when shared in the context of a committed, loving relationship without pressure and manipulation. You deserve that. You deserve to have the choice to say no when you aren’t ready, and then it will be so much more meaningful when you do choose to say yes. Choose yourself first, you are worthy of that.

 

 

By: Guest Blogger - Tammy, Placement Student