Have you heard the phrase “they just dropped a bomb”? It just refers to someone giving big news aka “a bomb” and it has such a profound impact it forever changes your lives, like the effects of a bomb.
That is how you might feel if your friend drops the “p” bomb. “I’m pregnant.”
This is huge news.
Your friend is likely feeling overwhelmed with the news of an unexpected pregnancy and it is understandable if you are feeling overwhelmed too.
But here is the good news. You are obviously a really good friend, that she feels comfortable sharing this intimate information with you. So, what is a good friend to do at this time?
Here are some helpful tips when supporting someone facing an unexpected pregnancy.
Actively Listen
Stop. Slow down. Listen.
Your friend is panicking and worried. At this moment they are not looking for you to say the ‘right thing’ to them. They are trying to vocalize and process what they are feeling.
When you actively listen, you are showing that you care and are validating their emotions. You do not need to think about what to say to them.
Be present. Listen to what they are saying.
Avoid Problem Solving
Many times, when people come to us with a crisis our first instinct is to problem solve. We want to come up with solutions. Although this is very common, it is not what she needs in that moment of crisis.
Avoid giving a multitude of information and “should” statements. When she first finds out she is pregnant, her mind is already full of intense thought and emotion. Adding further information could lead to greater stress.
Be there to support not solve.
When she has had enough time to process everything you can later support her with next steps from a non-judgmental stance.
Further Resources
After you have been there to listen and hear her concerns, you may find that she needs greater support. For some people, having a friend providing a listening ear may be enough. However, sometimes she may need greater help.
At the Kingston Pregnancy Care Centre, we have trained support workers who can provide further support. We have information on all the pregnancy options, adoption, abortion, and parenting and can present these in a confidential and non-judgmental environment. We give women as much time as they need to process the information and explore their feelings so they can make an informed decision.
Go to our website to read more about pregnancy options HERE.
To book a confidential appointment go HERE.
There are also other supports in the community that she may benefit from, such as:
Resolve Counselling Resolve Counselling Services Kingston - Resolve
24/7 Kingston Crisis Line 613.544.4229
Thank you for being a good friend. She is lucky to have you.
By: Hannah, Community Program Manager & Admin